A day in the life of a pandemic substitute teacher

This morning I coughed up some phlegm. Is this the detritus of my Covid that ostensibly ended a couple weeks ago? Or did I catch something this week? I don't feel safe in New Haven schools because I am not.

Before I get hate mail: I know what the rules are. It's who-gives-a-hoot in terms of masking in America. Young Americans have decided the pandemic is over, so those of us over 50 can just grin and bear it and hopefully not end up in hospitals gasping for air.

Yesterday, a teen was coughing. I put on a second mask as I sat at the desk, nervously wondering if she were ill. I decided to call Admin and ask that a mask be sent up. The teen agreed to wear one, then as she became more and more lethargic, soon asked if she could go to the nurse. Of course, I said, of course. I heard a few coughs from the other side of the room, an animated boy "working" in a close group. Did he have Covid? I counted: maybe three masks in class. It should be noted, often I see more kids than teachers wearing masks.

The days run together, but in each class there is a sniffling or a coughing child. Before I got sick, a boy had been called to go home early, and someone had brought him a mask, quietly pushing her phone number my way "if you need anything". Did I need anything? Turns out, in a few days I would need about $450, the money I missed because I don't have sick leave, and another $16 for cough medicine.

I can only speak for Connecticut, but our state, our "blue" state, is treating Covid like it's a pesky cold. People my age (61) or immunocompromised individuals aren't respected as much as bugs. Some people would never kill a bug, so they gingerly put it outside on the lawn to roam free. I cannot recall the last time anyone gingerly cared for me. I was heartened when the District brought me six Covid tests free of charge in the latter days of my illness (after I complained). But here I sit, wondering when I will get sick next, wondering what this congestion is.

It is a nasty feeling to no longer respect or trust my fellow man. Mom once said "People are mainly out for themselves." If the pandemic has taught us anything, it is this. Ask yourself if the 25-year-old behind you, laughing and coughing without a mask, cares about whether you, eighty-year-old grandpa, end up in the hospital? Sure, there ARE exceptions. I believe I would have been one of them. I used to play piano at the convalescent hospital in my town, a defining moment of my youth. I relished that part of my life and learned a great deal - about the circle of life, about patience and selflessness and bringing joy to the elderly.

When I mention the risks of Covid - which include, apparently, going into classes for teachers who are out with the disease - I am reminded that "yes, it is still with us and the best thing to do is stay home." I do not qualify for benefits for quite a while, and it's abstruse trying to find out if I will ever get sick leave. The documents are long and poorly written. My sense is no, non-union subs are disposable, like tissues thrown in the garbage after I am up all night hacking.

Yet, in every class, whether it's math or history, English or social studies, I teach when I can. I am tasked with throwing kids onto Google Classroom usually - which seems counter to the verb "teach" - but always tell them I am here to help. Answering questions is the fulfilling part of my job. When I helped a boy with long division he told me, "You explain it better than the teacher."

Step up, Connecticut, you say you value teachers. Protect our health. Protect our children's health.

Photos: top - https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Phyllis_Colyer_1961_(9659312338).jpg; bottom - By Colin D. Funk, Craig Laferrière, and Ali Ardakani. Graphic by Ian Dennis - http://www.iandennisgraphics.com - Funk CD, Laferrière C y Ardakani A (2020) Una instantánea de la carrera mundial de vacunas dirigidas contra el SARS-CoV-2 y la pandemia COVID-19. Parte delantera. Pharmacol. 11:937.Funk CD, Laferrière C and Ardakani A (2020) A Snapshot of the Global Race for Vaccines Targeting SARS-CoV-2 and the COVID-19 Pandemic. Front. Pharmacol. 11:937.https://doi.org/10.3389/fphar.2020.00937, CC BY 4.0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=99473789